Good morning everyone, I hope you have all been keeping safe and staying entuned with your star player.

I don’t know about anyone else but it’s been crazy since the last time I posted. My apologies for the late “new week” post, life just was moving too fast for me lately. I just want to start this off by saying that I am truly thankful for another week. I hope you are also. Blessings to all my readers and loved ones who have made it to see another week alongside me. Sleep in peace to those who didn’t make it to see this new day or previous days before. Life comes at you fast and sometimes you aren’t prepared for it; that is in part why I haven’t been posting as often. Now that time has slowed down a little bit, I am back with a lot of things to post about.

These days being positive has really been a huge task for me, it’s like no matter how hard I try something always seems to mess things up. I don’t know if it’s me, people I interact with, or simply a cosmic energy but yah girl has been drained lately. Thrown the towel in on life because it’s too much, but staying hopeful has changed that dynamic. I am thankful for my life, I am thankful for my body being able to do the tasks it needs to during the day, I am thankful that I ate today, and I am thankful that every day alive is a new day to make changes to my life. Thing get pretty bleak sometimes but there is always new beginnings waiting for you just over the horizon of your mental thoughts. Train your mind to think more positive and uplifting things. Speak blessings into existence. Trials and tribulations will always comes and a lot of the times you aren’t prepared for it, but keeping a clear, encouraging mind will help guide you through your toughest times. There are days when I don’t even feel like interacting with the outside world: I’d call in sick when absolutely nothing is physically wrong it’s just mental. Taking the time out to know and love yourself, heal your mind and heart, and tend to the most important goals you have in life in the long run will help you become a more content person. It’s not always about being better I should say, it’s about feeling better. We can all wear fake smiles, why not for once show one that is genuine? Leave the “relying on others or materialistic things to make you happy” alone and embrace the beauty of YOU!

Although we are already deep into the week, my wish for you all this is week is that you find peace, love, and happiness in your daily lives. I hope the struggles and the storms you are going through right now lighten up soon, and may your mind be at ease to allow positivity to cultivate in it. Thank you for reading and supporting. Let’s have an amazing Hump Day, and continue to #changethedynamic.

Closer. Happy sunday.

You want what you want, so go get it. The year is ending and I know a few of us are feeling a little unfulfilled. Missing the good feeling of having a decent year because of all the stuff that’s been going on lately. Nonetheless, it’s a new week so let’s keep #changingthedynamic. You can become closer to your dreams. Hard work does pay off but the key note is the hard work part, you gotta work for what you want.

I pray we all receive blessings and breakthroughs before the year ends, a way of showing us that the new year is hopeful. Or, instead let’s make the new year our bitch! Screw the automatic negative thinking, I’m going stay being hopeful that storm will be over soon. Every setback has been preparing us for a major comeback. So happy Sunday beautiful people, hussle hard and keep the bullshit in the past. Stop that living for others shit, cut that doubt shit, no more settling, and let’s become the first millionaires in the family. Love Yours. 💙

Rock with me now.

Stay safe folks and thank you for rocking with me.💫


Good morning folks and welcome to a new work day. If you are not working, I pray your situation changes soon so we all can eat. If you are working, stay safe and try to have a productive work week.

A new week brings many things in store of us. Try tackling something new this week or work on a goal you’ve been putting off. No one is perfect so let’s both try to remain positive this week. I know for me personally, it will be a task but I am still determined to let this week pass by semi-smoothly. So shout out everyone hustling and trying to make it out here. My talented people just a moment away from truly showing the world their skills. My parents out there who hold down the Fort of the home for their family. My entrepreneurs coming up with the next best thing. My people’s hustle on the block, I know we know this is ain’t right but everyone’s gotta eat somehow; the world hasn’t made it easy for people to fall back in with the rest of society. Big up my 9-5’s waking up and hitting those hours daily for a pay cheque. Let’s get this money, get this body, and get our minds right.

Happy Monday 💙💫

Dear Diary

I just want to say, thank you. For all the blessings, trials and tribulations that I’ve been through. Everything happens for a reason, so regardless of what’s going on I want to thank the lord for giving me all these merciful blessings lately. I’ve been up and down about how I wanted to approach certain people but I’ve learned that you must portray the blessings you receive, I’m truly thankful for the more positive days that I’ve been experiencing lately. Although I am still going through ups and down, I am still blessed and highly favored. A bitch has been going through the mud and still trying to come out without any stains. Impossible. It might be but regardless I’m going to hold onto the fact that things change with purpose. My purpose is to move forward with more enlightenment. I’ve learned new things this past month that has opened my eyes to the behavior of myself and others. I wish everyone peace though because there are battles that you have no idea that someone is fighting. All the more reason for me to humble myself and realize that I’m not the only person going through some bullshit. That also means that for all the motherfuckers who are coming for me, they should just chill the fuck out. Do you even have an idea what it feels like to be me? Like walk a mile in my shoes for a second: you’d have bunions. The size wouldn’t fit perfectly, so you’d be upset every time you stepped in my shoes. Let’s strive for more, better. Let’s make new movements and wish better outcome for peoples lives that we’ve been doing now. 2021 is approaching and in all honesty: I want to be more peaceful in the new year. More entuned with the way I live my life. I’ve been stepping out of my usual self lately by asking about and linking up with people I wouldn’t normal ask for or chill with. The anonymity is dead. We all make mistakes and that’s life. I just know that moving forward, it is only up from here.

[Bee signed out]

no condemination

One of my favorite gospel songs is “We fall down” by Donnie McClurkin; I’d say about 98% of the time when I hear that song play I tear up. I don’t know if its because of what’s going on in my life at the time or because the song gives me hope. Regardless it means the absolutely world to me.

a saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up


How many times have we done some questionable ass shit? How many times have we fallen short? How many times could we have done better? Too many times to count for most of us but at the same time we are STILL blessed. Just opening your eyes in the morning is a straight blessing. I’ve sinned and dome some questionable shit myself and I could only pray that God still remembers me. A sinner. We all mess up in life but the one who can admit their faults and strive for better is the strongest one. Netflix just dropped “Girlfriends” and in season two Joan and Toni’s relationship really takes a nose dive. Dealing with constant, nonchalant behavior throughout their friendship: Joan decides she has had enough. Why continue to deal with someone who rarely has your best interest in mind or someone who barely upholds the meaning of friendship? CUT THAT OFF! Episode 7 changes things: it pin points the TRUE flaws in man. Oh how we have forgotten that we ALL fall short. We all have flaws. What determines who is better? Money? Morals? Education? Looks? Bloodline? Background? Followers? None of those things; we’ve forgotten that the true intentions of someone comes from the heart: the soul. Everyone is able to change, it’s just that people don’t always seem to. With that very fact, who are we to look down at each other? I have my own flaws and I’m pretty sure there are things I could change about the way I react to my environment; the same goes for anyone reading this post. We all fuck up in life but that doesn’t mean we are withheld from forgiveness. I’ve said some mean things about people who have hurt me and I can vouch that it has added no benefits to my life. I’ve been rude to people who’ve hurt me even though they themselves are going through something that could truly use my attention. I’ve ignored or lashed out on people who’ve tried to move my way of thinking into a different direction. I’ve stolen, cheated, lied, belittled, and disrespected people in my life; nonetheless I can still be forgiven. You can’t just say “forgive me” and think that everything will be good now: own up to your faults and GENUINELY seek forgiveness. We have got to start living a better life for ourselves and the world in order to see better results.

I made this post because I finished watching episode 7 in tears; I had called my mom early cussing about my sibling and spoken to a friend on Monday about some feelings I’ve been having towards a few of the other people I once upon a time called my friends. A saint is just a sinner who fell down but they couldn’t stay there, so they got up. Blessings. You can post for the world to see all day, errr day, but people never know the true battles we are all facing. That “something’s gotta give” starts with YOU! My new mission is PEACE! I hope you will all join me in this journey.


Dear Diary

I just don’t care anymore.

It’s crazy how I’m constantly viewed as the bad guy but no one ever stops to see just how nice I am. I’ve let you guys talk down to me and fuck me over countless times but yet still don’t treat anyone as bad as they treat me. Now I ain’t no angel, I’ve messed up in a lot of areas in my life, but who hasn’t? I’ve sat down and listened to people call me crazy for still being cool with people who’ve done some foul shit. I’ve heard people say, “couldn’t be me” more times than I can count because I’ve decided to not be a dick towards someone who’s been a dick to me. My heart is set a certain way, my mother worked hard to instill decorum in her children so that for the most part we know we shouldn’t treat people a certain way. I am loud and rude, I know this: I’ve been working on bettering the way I approach the trials and tribulations of life. I just want to be happy. I want to wake up and not feel like I world is weighing heavy on my chest. I want to wake up and look in the mirror and not be disgusted by what I see. I want to wake up, walk outside, and just be grateful for life. If I continue down the path that I am on right now, I can’t see myself wanting much to do with life. I am not suicidal but at the same time, have you ever just felt like you’re living just to live? Like there’s no specific reason, you just go through each day doing the same routine for the same outcome with no hope that it will get better? That’s me mentally, but that shit has got to stop. This year has truly open my eyes to changes that need to be made in order for me to feel this happiness that I’ve been searching for; it’s time for a change.

So I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what anyone has to say about me. I don’t care about what anyone thinks about me. I don’t care about anyone who has showed me that they can not be counted on. I don’t care for men who want to play games. I don’t care for co-workers who don’t like me. I don’t care for the politics of gossiping. I don’t care for the total disregard of another persons’ feelings. I just don’t care anymore. My main focus is health and wealth. Shout out to me for holding down the fort so long in my life; I am my own best friend. Shout out the people who I’ve now realize are my true friends, I WILL see you guys at the top. Last but never least, although sometimes I want to stay asleep for a week I want to thank to lord for allowing me to wake up and see another day. It’s the little things that matter. #Changethedynamic .

[Bee signed out]

Mood: sunday

Happy Sunday everyone! I don’t know about you guys but it’s been a trying week for me: nothing but downs all week. Nonetheless we are going to push forward into this new week with more hopefulness. Whatever it is that you are dealing with at this moment in time, just know that things can get better; life can take a turn for the better. Let’s keep hope alive and change our mindsets to something more positive. This week I hope brings enlightenment and focus on a bigger picture for the life you are trying to grab hold of; let’s not forget that life is also what you make it, so make it meaningful. This past week as taught me that things don’t always go the way you plan, people hate what they don’t understand, and there’s always a bigger plan. So let’s enter this new week with a change in dynamic: FAITH! Have faith that you will get that bonus, pass that test, make that commission, or simply get through the day. Have faith that all the hard work you’ve been doing in the background of your life will finally become worth it. Have faith that there is someone watching over you, sees how hard you are trying, and will reward you for your efforts. Have faith that your big break is coming, the love of your life will show up, and that everyone who ever doubted you will have to eat their words.

Nankurnaisa ~ it all will work out.

Dear Diary

I’ve made a big decision a couple days ago that may change how the rest of year goes. I’ve been putting it off and also contemplating if I should go through with it… Lately I’ve been back and forth with a few people about how I’ve been treating them and quite frankly I understand. I understand that I don’t not give a fuck anymore. Besides my family, there has only been 3 people who’ve been checking for me during this difficult time. So anyone else’s feelings are not AS important. I’m not saying that I don’t hear them loud and clear: I do need to step up in the friendship department but at the same time what the fuck about them? Should they be doing the same thing too? Anyways…. I’ve decided that I will talk to this guy; once and for all, to finally dead the issues. Get everything off my chest and see what happens from there. I’ve also decided that the old me is gone. I will no longer be the person I’ve been for past decade and I will also no longer be around a few people I’ve known or met in the last decade. change is important for a better life and it’s extremely important for my mental and physical health that I change my life now before it’s too late. I am not doing so good health wise and nobody knows what’s going on but this health issue has opened my eyes and made me realize that life is too short. At any point in time it could be our last so I am going to own this life I have left to live. I wish everyone all the best and I pray we all live long and prosperous lives. 💙

[Bee signed out]


You have to be the change you want to see in the world, it all starts within. I’ve made this hashtag because it truly speaks to me, it made me realize that there were times were I could have changed the dynamic to better the situation, but didn’t. Times where a simple switch in demeanor and decorum could have made things a lot easier for myself and the people around. I’ve been incorporated this slowly into my daily life so that I can become a better person in all walks of life. It is not an easy task to do with all the trials and tribulations of that life has to offer but it’s not unobtainable. It’s not impossible to leave a just life. The main thing is that you never give up on your stride to a better you or a better world. If you’ve been steadily on my blog you would have seen that I’ve used it in a few of my posts and you can understand how it ties in to what I was posting about it. Sometimes life throws bombs on your plans but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on those plans, maybe the universe is showing you that there is another way to go about the things you want in life. The universe could also be telling you that what you want may not be the best thing for you. This also doesn’t mean you give up on those plans; tweak them, try a new route and see if you goals still end up coming into existence. Dynamic is everywhere: it’s how you act in school, work, church, the grocery store, social occasions, meetings, and where ever else you have to interact with different people. It’s also in the way you see life: pollution, politics, health, fitness, religion and more. Changing the dynamic means changing you; putting a better energy out in the world to receive a better energy back. Owning your essence and bossing up on anyone who was doubting your progress. So I hope you guys can join me in pushing this hashtag out and also adapting it into your lifestyle as well.

Let’s #changethedynamic in you and in the world for the better.

Thursday Motivation


Stay untuned with your star player.


Leave all the rest of the bullshit and the people who may be causing the bullshit in the trunk on this drive of your life. That’s where all baggage goes, when it’s time to unload remember that idea isn’t to forget but to move on. The same way you drop off your baggage at the claim and get on a flight, only difference is you don’t pick back up the same luggage when you have reached your destination. Throughout my blog you will see that I will always promote loving yourself and truly taking the time out to care for yourself. I will speak about many other things that might change your mind on who I am but always remember the strive is: becoming better; pushing further into a optimistic future where you can finally feel good about yourself. I believe that it’s time we changed the world for the better and also #changethedynamic on how we respond to the trials and tribulations of life. Since it is also throwback Thursday, think back to a time when you truly believed you were happy, take away the physical form : i.e. if the happiness was because someone else was making you happy. Think of a time when YOU yourself felt comfortable in your own skin. What has changed? Let’s get back into the habit of being honest with ourselves and zero in on what is truly stopping us from our full potential.

I hope we all learn to be untuned with our star player.

Kendrick made a powerful song with an even powerful outro by GLC. Check it out below.

Skip to 3:17 in this song to hear the motivation for Thursday. Powerful Spoken Word.

Apply yourself to supply your wealth, the only limitations you’ll ever have is those that you place upon yourself ~GLC

Apply Yourself To Supply Your Wealth!

Dear Diary


The way I have to give myself a pep talk to get up and come into work. When you’re mentally drained, every day becomes a mission. Like be nice becca, don’t cuss no one off…. don’t yell… try to smile… try and be happy. You say all that to yourself but yet you wake up ready to knock out the first person you see, you get to work ready to ask these birds “WASGUD” like Nicki Minaj did Miley Cyrus, and then you’re ready to head back home and shoo away anyone who steps on your property! I’ve realized the reason why I’m always so indifferent and moody is because I’m just tired. Physically and mentally. Tired of putting on a friendly face when on the inside I’m drowning in my own tears. Regardless of how I feel on the inside, I still push forward because you can never give up on your goals. I have goals I haven’t showed any one I know and I WILL reach them. That’s one thing about me: I’m lazy asf, probably one of the laziest people I know but when it comes down to something I really need to put my mind to or something I’m determined to do, I GET IT THE FUCK DONE! Waiting for other people to help you will only slow down your process. So becca even when you’re tired of being nice and tired of getting out of bed remember, this isn’t the life you want for yourself or your current/future family. So get up, greet the world, and mind your business. Your first mistake was leaning on everyone but God and yourself. So fake that smile until it’s real.

Switch Up!

3 months left to switch shit up! That self doubting energy is DEAD. Time to get up and get what you want; everything we never had as kids! Screw everyone telling you can’t do it or you’ll never be worth it. You got that star quality! Unlock it and #Changethedynamic. People gon talk all the shit they want and you just keep proving them wrong. Those fake friends, those dysfunctional relationships and those dead end jobs can all be things of the past. Changing your mindset is the first step.

  • Write down your goals
  • Identify the root of your problems
  • Give yourself credit when due
  • Acknowledge the things you can and cannot change
  • Problem solve and compromise when necessary
  • Love yourself
  • Have fun


It’s a WRAP; burrito ! (Shout out the girl that said that on Maury; ICONIC!) Let’s cut the bull**** and get into it! Hungry mode! One thing I realized is that you can’t always count on other people to be there for you, to support you, love you, or respect you. With that being said, fuck em. The main goal is to make yourself happy. It may sound selfish but how can you help someone up if you, yourself are down? Same way they tell you on a plane to put YOUR mask on first before helping another in case of an emergency. I came a long way from where I was before, but I’m still not where I want to be. Tis the season to switch shit up! Worrying about people who don’t have your best interest in mind, stays in September. Giving your all to someone who doesn’t appreciate it, stays in September. Stalling on getting your health right, stays in September. Holding back, stays in September. We focused on the better life: body, mind, and soul. So my readers, if you are dealing with some stupid disrespectful humans; it’s time to check them. You’ve been holding back enough and it’s been taking it’s toll subconsciously. HUNGRY MODE! Start putting all that effort and love into yourself and I promise it will be more profitable than anyone else has to offer. Win for yourself and bring along the right set of people who have been truly holding it down for you. Shout out my few people too, y’all up when I’m up. My focus is my mind, my God, my money, and my family. So everyone who ever diss, sit back and enjoy the show. Me, my readers, and my peoples are going to show all you hoes what’s really good.

With a final touch of the calm side, welcome to the wild side. Fragile people: going forward you might want to avoid certain posts, yah girl is officially in season. 🚀

Dear Diary

Boy have I come a long way.

My main goal for this year was to get a car and the moment has arrived. I am a driver now. Although the process got rushed because of my job moving locations, I am thankful that I accomplished something big this year. I’m excited and nervous to truly start driving but all the hard work and effort I put into to making this happen has me ready to experience life. To all the people who also helped me get here, THANK YOU! From the bottom of my heart, thank you because I couldn’t have done it without those people’s help. I’m currently feeling the strain of being a new car owner because I am SOOOOOOO DOWN right now. Like my bank account is screaming at me like ” b**** you eating sleep for dinner huh?” I keep saying to myself: ” you gotta spend money, to make money,” and it’s the realest pep talk I’ve ever had with myself. I worry about if my websites are going to take off the way I want, I worry about if I’ll be able to keep up with all these payments, and I’ve been asking myself if this is truly what I want to be doing with my life? I want to reach higher in my job, I want this website to be successful, and I want to own more properties. I’ve truly never been this determined for hard work and the rewards it will reap. Knocking having a car off the list has been a huge weight off my shoulder because it opens doors for me to make more money. Thank you Lord for these blessings you’ve laid on me and my loved ones, they do not go unnoticed. I pray all my readers receive blessings of their own and remember to give thanks.

[Bee signed out]

Dear Diary .

Throwback Thursday.

Monday, December, 30th, 2019. 11:19pm.

*as the year ends, I think of all the decisions I’ve made, loved ones that have passed on, and all the fun I did have; makes me feel a little indifferent.. my body is getting weaker, my mind and words are more harsh; life has beaten my ass up. BUT, I claim in the name of GOD this new year will be better. All the right things and mindsets are all I want for the new year. Better ME! So again, as the new year approaches; I pray me, my family, and all my dawgs stay blessed in the new year.


Present Day

Crazy re-reading what I wrote in my journal from last year. I truly had some high hopes for the new year and to be honest: even though this year has been rough, I did accomplish a few of my goals I set for the new year. For that I’m thankful. Sleep in peace to all those who have fallen in the new year and blessings to those of us who still remain. I hope somehow we still strive for better days.

[Bee signed out]

Happy Sabbath!

Good afternoon and happy sabbath to my fellow Seventh-Day Adventist. As the day moves forward, remember: in all things give thanks.

What is the sabbath? It’s a day where we christians fellowship together in praises and sermons about God. We believe Saturday is the holy day and we disassociate ourselves from every day life on that day. This means: No TV, no cooking, no secular music(music that is not godly), no activities that don’t pertain to God and church, and basically anything frivolous that doesn’t uplift godly manner. This starts sunset on Friday until the sunset on Saturday. It’s a new day when the sun goes down in our religion so for a full 24hrs we observe the holy sabbath day.

Growing up following these customs seemed unfair because I wanted to be outside enjoying the weather or hanging with friends but in the end it made me the person I am today. It helped shape a certain kind of decor to my personality and ultimately, made me a better person. I view the world differently because of religion and my attitude towards certain life trials is more positive because my faith made it so. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about religion and faith but MY God is not a joke. As a natural human being and also because I am older now, I do have my questions about certain things; for example what did we believe in before black slaves were forced to convert to Christianity? Did we believe in God but didn’t have a specific religion or is there something I’m missing? Either way, I thank my mother for my upbringing because I held onto a lot of aspects of my faith because it truly made sense to me. Why not love your neighbour? Why not treat each other with respect? Why do you need to cheat on your partner? Why speak lies and steal from your friends? Sense is sense, so I agree that my body is a temple and I should treat it as such. Not everybody you meet that “WOWs” you deserve your body, mind, and soul. These are just a few of things we believe in but those alone speak for themselves because I know you agree with me. Living better; not only for yourself, but for the greater good is something I can get behind on. We have lost touch with our humanity and our morals and that’s; in part, why this world is pretty much fucked.

We need to get back into the loving our brethren and remembering that we all have one life to live and should cherish it to the fullest. Our trials and tribulations can be temporary if we put our best foot forward. Yes I know, easier said than done; that doesn’t mean to accept defeat. Possibilities become enlarge when we focus on the thing we truly want for our life. If you want better for yourself then believe in it; MANIFEST that blessing in your life and take charge of the process. Help doesn’t come while you sit on your ass, you have to go out and grab that shit by the balls. This is why even though I have my thoughts on my specific religion, I believe in the love and power of my God. He works in mysterious ways and when you think you aren’t being blessed just remember, you woke up this morning. THAT is a blessing in itself. I will never say religion is for everyone and that y’all need to get with one, but I truly believe we need faith in something other than the people who are in charge on this planet. There has to be a higher anarchy that watches over and deals the hands of justice on the world. I want to end this by saying that although I fall short of the glory of God, I am thankful that God still keeps blessing a sinner like me. The heavens have smiled down on me too many times to count that I can’t just sit back and not believe there is a higher being. Someone that even when you think all hope is lost, they show up in the Knick of time to solve your problems and give you that push to strive for more.

Blessings to all my fellow SDAs! Happy sabbath! Blessings to everyone who is reading this and I pray you have a wonderful and safe day. Remember that you were and are fearfully and wonderfully made. Do NOT let anyone tell you different regardless of who you are. Stay safe folks. 💙