Dear Diary

It’s scary how I am truly starting to control my emotions. Silence is the way. Instead of the usual lash out, subliminals, or tears: I just go mute. It’s hard to be at work when I’m sad about my friends passing. I don’t care for functions or even saying good morning but I am pushing … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

July 27. 12:58am The message you need to hear always comes in a random moment. A reel on IG telling me: be careful of what you say to yourself and your train of thought. Words are powerful! Speaking positive and uplifting things to yourself with change your like drastically. Understand that YOU are your biggest … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

I have a gift and a curse: my gift is I can see where the situationship is going to go with men wayyy ahead of time but my curse is I also still give them the benefit of the doubt. How fun. Like yeah…. lemme see if you’re worth it even though I already know … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Stoned Blows… Weed makes me think 3x as much about life. Anything that happens, when I smoke it just magnifies in my head. I’ll overthink more will high but then forget all about it. A never ending cycle of “the battle of the brain state: sober or high” I realize that the way I handle … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Do people change? I constantly ask myself this question because I want to believe they do but time has a way of showing me they don’t. You make a decision in your mind that someone does not deserve you anymore but yet a slight change in character has you rethinking, why is that? Are we … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Waking up looking at the time and asking myself is today the day I quit. Is today the day I disappear? Is today the day where life takes a turn for the better? Is today the day I meet the love of my life? Is today the day a random check for a million dollars … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

I’ve reached a new low that I am not trying to stay at any longer…. I’ve tried with life but nothing but misery seems to company it so I am keeping to myself now. My excitement for my birthday has died down… my thrill for a new chapter in my life is almost nonexistent but … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

i am through with arguing with people, there’s no point. Constantly having to stand up for your respect is not only tiring but also annoying. i trust no one now. time after time you realize that if they don’t have your best interest now, they won’t in the future. Some will even fake rock with … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

The most important thing is to be happy in the skin you are in… so easily discouraged by the pace of my life: I need to cut that out. It’s one thing to sit and talk about changing yourself for the better, you actually have to do the work. Life isn’t easy but it is … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

I wanna be loved but not the way people are loving each other now. I want the real deal. The butterflies in the stomach deal: waking up to “good morning” texts deal. I want to feel wanted by my significant other and I want to build with this person also. Scrap all the bullshit we … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Lying in a bed in pain with tears in her eyes because she’s tired. Tired of everything. She rather spend her days and nights alone than deal with another human being. Just when she speaks of a change, life hits her with a blow she wasn’t prepared for. How could she be so stupid? So … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

I keep saying to myself : apply yourself to supply your wealth, the only limitations you’ll ever have is those you place upon yourself. Like forreal…. you gotta get up and get it! That’s the only way your pockets are going to expand exactly like GLC said on Kendrick Lamar’s song “Poe mans dream.” It’s … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

I keep getting myself into the same situations. I try to separate myself from the misuse of others but I am too caring and also too naive. I know I’m being used, so why do I continue? I know they couldn’t careless about me so why do I entertain them? Why is it so hard … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Today’s thoughts : Should I have waited? (August, 27, 2020) So let me backtrack and give you guys a little back story to this question. Before February of this year I was still a virgin. Yes… I was almost 30 years old and still a virgin. I got to the point where I just said, … More Dear Diary

Dear Diary

I don’t know what I’ve done as a person to get such disrespect from people… like forreal.. what makes someone decide to treat people so damn wicked. I don’t know what I’ve really done to give people a bad impression but that shit has to get dead. I don’t how but it does. Y’all doing … More Dear Diary