Dear Diary

I’m tired about talking about love or the lack of it.

Time for something new, or actually…. old.

I’ve gotten to the point where I assumed my mental health was progressing well, but I was wrong. I’ve been stuck: not okay but also not bad.. I started to brush off my feelings by saying: it could be worst…

But does that mean I am not entitled to feel some sort of feeling towards my predicament? Like I’m not allowed to be irritated because things could be worst? NO! I… kind of refuse to subject myself to some sort of suppression because I have came up with a coping mechanism that does not heal but rather buries my emotions. Distracting me from being in the moment because “I’ve been through worst.” We are still entitled to feel sad, mad, frustrated, overwhelmed, unheard, and misunderstood. We can still feel resentful, agitated, perturbed, and anxious… Who said healing means that your feelings disappear? Who said that healing means that you’ll never feel again?

I can still feel and not be consider as bi-polar, a bitch, annoying, or too emotional. I can still feel and not be consider as aggressive, whiny, or overbearing. I am healing! Healing is a work in progress, allow me some time! I am human! Being human means I may make mistakes and if I am able, I can atone for them. Do not doubt my progress! Do not dismiss my efforts…

I am trying.

[Bee signed out]

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