Dear Diary

It’s scary how I am truly starting to control my emotions. Silence is the way. Instead of the usual lash out, subliminals, or tears: I just go mute. It’s hard to be at work when I’m sad about my friends passing. I don’t care for functions or even saying good morning but I am pushing through. The one joy right now is my brand new niece: she’s sooo cute! But sadly looking at her also makes me wonder where is my husband? Where is my little one? Sucks but it’s life and I’ll take all the babies I can then until it’s my time. As I smoke to clear my mind, please remember that I am trying. Trying to stay positive in a negative mind.

[Bee signed out]

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