Realization

Some wake up calls come from the sudden realization that the way you are living is not how you should. It’s like you finally get some clarity on a situation you are in and now it’s all about taking the right steps to get out of it. As much as she wanted love, she actually needed time to herself. Was she even sure she even wanted to be a girlfriend? Even though she wasn’t one of those little girls who dreamt about their wedding/marriage, it did cross her mind from time to time. What would my husband look like? Our kids? Where would we live? What would we both do for a living? Some of the few questions she asked herself; a preparation for the future. What she didn’t expect was that she’d be wasting her time, her thoughts about the future unknowingly tainted already by society’s idea of love. The world forgot the true meaning of love; manipulated the people who still have hope for true love.

Thinking she was getting somewhere, she opened her heart and her legs to men who weren’t interested in the same things as her. Deep down as the days passed, she realize that it was going no where with these men but with the feelings already in development she felt stuck. Plagued with high emotions, she felt like she had to stick around. Why? I couldn’t tell you. Maybe it was the fact that they made her feel things for the first time. Maybe she was just lonely. Maybe she was just horny or simply just stupid. Either way, she tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and make things work out – they never did. She gave them all the tricks and trades but received nothing but abuse in the end. Foolish. Selling herself short for affection, how pathetic.

That’s when it finally hit her, it wasn’t her fault alone. Yea she might have been blinded or caught up in the moment but she genuinely wanted to love these men, she truly wanted to be seen as more than just someone a man could have “fun” with. She was loyal to men she wasn’t dating, she caring towards them, and she gave them what they wanted in the bedroom: the downfalls of being a people pleaser. She tried her best and still didn’t get the respect she deserved, until she put her foot down. She know she wants to be someone’s wife. She’s tired of sneaking around giving her body to men with no intention on being with her. She’s done with going on dates with guys who just want a chance in her pants. She’s done looking for a love of her own and is now focus on herself. She has said the same thing countless time but after cutting off the last dude in her phone, she has a new outlook on life. It’s time she got her mind, body, and soul right. It’s time she loved herself. It’s time she focused on getting herself together financially. It’s time she focused on her family. Love will come – hopefully and she can wait to give her all to a man who truly loves and supports her. In the meantime, to everyone who has taken her kindness for weakness: she is going to make you regret it. It took time, but she’s finally realized: you don’t need a partner to be happy or feel validated by your social circle. You don’t need to rush to have the milestones everyone else is having. You don’t need to settle because of the aging process. You don’t need to put up with mediocre or one sided relationships when the most amazing thing is out there. Stay focused on you and let the heavens bless you with the right one. It’s time. You tried.


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